Saturday, March 7, 2015

EVERYTHING NOT QUITE RIGHT WITH: ENTER THE DRAGON


This is the first entry of my version of the YouTube channel CinemaSins Everything Wrong With... series. Since its highly unlikely they will ever get to the films I like any time soon I figured I'd do my own version. The full article is located in the film/tv section. 




Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Star Wars Prequels Rewritten: Rise Of The Dark Lord

This is the third story in my prequel rewrite that deviates the most in terms of correcting the mistakes George Lucas' made in his original. It's actually number three of four stories. As I mentioned in previous installments, I was having such difficulty in fitting everything into a trilogy that I had to add another story. In trying to closely adhere to the original trilogy's style and pacing, it became apparent that Lucas was using the old 1950's matinee style of telling this story. Which consisted of a lot of "wipe" transitions and a story line that was continuously forward moving. There are no flashbacks, jump ahead, narration, exposition or any other devices normally used today to tell a story. The only thing close that could fill in details would be the opening crawl and once that's over its off to the races. I found it a bit confining way to tell a story personally but that's how the saga goes. Telling the story in a different way just isn't "Star Wars". 

If your just seeing this installment first you may want to check out the first two stories



So without further ado...

IF THE STAR WARS PREQUELS WERE DONE PROPERLY:

Written by: Nic Rellek - Maddcomix
Story art by: Nic Rellek - Maddcomix
Poster art by: Muharrem ACAR -  deviantart
Poster titles by:  Neil Bonner - deviantart


STAR WARS: Rise of the Dark Lord




video




PLANET ONARISS - WE MOVE DOWNWARD FROM THE CRAWL TO FOLLOW A TROOP TRANSPORT VESSEL LEADING A DOZEN OTHERS HEADING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE OF A BLUISH-GREEN PLANET. Larger war ships are battling in the space around the planet and we follow a troop transport ship as it descends into the atmosphere. Dressed in a field uniform and black hooded cloak, Major Anakin Skywalker looking a bit older from the stress of war, he has stubble on his scarred face, shouts last minute instructions to his clone troops as the ship navigates through anti aircraft flak on its way to the surface. Walking through the carrier, he sternly pats his troops on the shoulder while making his way to the rear of the ship. Seeing his Padawan standing alone and looking nervous, Skywalker approaches him, gives a stern look and tells him to remember his training, allow the Force to flow through him and to stay close when they reach the surface.



The ships land on the surface of the planet and the troops disembark in a rush. This is urban warfare and the fighting is intense as Republic soldiers clash with Confederacy of Independent Systems (Separatists) forces on the streets of capital city. The clone troopers methodically push the local militia, who is fighting with the droid army, back and take more territory moving toward the capital building. Major Skywalker watches from atop a tank and commands his troops from the rear. The clone troopers finally make they're way to the steps of the capital building and have it surrounded. Inside the building the militia fighters have the huge front doors barricaded. The men take cover in the building waiting for the final attack. Outside, Skywalker's tank rolls up and he and his apprentice step onto the ground. A clone trooper captain steps to him and says they have the area secure and are prepared to execute the final assault on his command. The Jedi surveys the scene and gives a nod.


From inside the building the militia men crouch behind shields prepared for the worst. The huge door explodes and three squads of 501st Legion pour into the breach firing at anything that moves. After an intense exchange of laser fire its over quickly and those not killed are rounded up and taken prisoner. As other clone troopers move to secure the building, Major Skywalker walks into the lobby, his black cloak flows out behind him as he steps over bodies that still litter the area. A squad leader comes to him and gives his report that the building is secure but there is no sign of the militia or Separatist military leaders of this region. The Jedi officer orders the squad leader to prepare a room. Looking over at the POWs, Anakin sees the three highest ranked men in the group, marches over to one and with both hands grabs a surviving militia soldier holding him up in the air by his neck, he demands to know where the Separatist leaders are. In the background we see a shocked look on his Padawan face. CUT TO...

NABOO - ROYAL PALACE  In walks a very pregnant Padme with Korin and theyre talking about the civil war and how its affected their planet. Padme's husband, Prince Blaan Dorhaan, contacts her on a small tablet. He asks how she feels and they talk about the war effort. Blaan reassures the Princess that the Ziaan military can protect them from any aggression from the Trade Federation and that additional ships have been stationed in their sector. Blaan asks Padme to come to Curoscant for a visit and he informs her that there is an award ceremony for her former bodyguard Anakin Skywalker. His heroics in battle on several occasions is being recognized and Blaan has it on good authority that Skywalker will be promoted from Major to Colonel. Padme gives an impressed nod to the news and says she'll schedule transportation to the capital planet right away. The way they talk to each other is cordial but its clear she's not in love with him. In fact in signing off he says "I love you" and she responds with a polite smile, "I know". WIPE TO...

ONARISS - COLONEL KENOBI AT BASE CAMP GOING OVER PLANS WHEN ANAKIN'S PADAWAN COMES IN.  Skywalker's apprentice tells the Colonel that he's concerned about Master Skywalker's methods. The Padawan states that he witnessed his teacher use Force techniques to extract information from three militia men. Obi-Wan sighs in frustration and tells the apprentice to keep and eye on Anakin and report back if another incident occurs. Kenobi then contacts Yoda and Mace Windu and informs them of this incident. They summon both back to Curoscant partly as a request from the Chancellor who wants to award Skywalker with a medal for his heroism and Obi-Wan is to meet with Palpatine for a new assignment. The Council also want to see the hero Jedi personally. WIPE TO...

MUSTAFAR - COUNT DOOKU IS TALKING TO THE TRADE FEDERATION VICEROY AND GENERAL GRIEVOUS, BOTH ARE ON HOLOGRAM.  Grievous gives Dooku progress reports on the battles in the Middle Rim systems and the Count says Palpatine is working on a plan to spread Republic Forces so that Curoscant is exposed to CIS forces and tells Grievous that he should have a fleet ready to move when the signal is given. Grievous signs off. Admiral Tarkin pops up and says the proto-type for the super weapon laser system is ready for live fire testing, at that moment Dooku is notified of an urgent message. Newt Gunray, the Viceroy of the Trade Federation pops up and says that he's gathering his troops to go back to Naboo but Ziaan forces have the planet well protected. Dooku says he'll direct additional CIS ships to back up his forces. Gunray signs off. Then a thought occurs to the Count, he turns to Tarkin and says that the Ziaan home world would be a perfect target for the live fire test. The Admiral agrees and says when they're in range he'll contact him with the results. WIPE TO...

ANAKIN AND HIS APPRENTICE ARRIVE ON CUROSCANT THE NEXT DAY. Walking through the space port he runs into Padme with  Korin along with a small contingent of Naboo security and her Jedi guard. Anakin says she looks beautiful. The Princess looks at the Jedi Knight who has scars on his face and cybernetic arms and she quickly searches for something positive to say and congratulates him for the honor he's about to receive. She says theyre in town visiting with her husband on business. Anakin asks her if they can talk in private and Padme, looking reluctant, tells Korin to check out some gift possibilities for her mother and the hand maiden leaves. Anakin tells his Padawan to stand guard with Padme's Jedi guard a distance away The two step to an alcove space away from the foot traffic of the space port. The security team busy themselves visually scanning the area.



Out of ear shot, Anakin tells her he still loves her and can't stop thinking about her. We see the hurt in her eyes as she tells him that she can't be with him. He says he understands why she married Dorhaan but that he could protect her. She says its not about her but her people, Anakin cuts her off and says he's more powerful in the Force now, even more so than Obi-Wan, and with his rank and pull within the Republic Forces he can protect Naboo better than Dorhaan. Getting more emotional, Anakin looks at her pregnant belly and says that should be his child. Padme looks at him with a bit of shock. He continues and says that Dorhaan can't love her the way he does. The Princess takes a step back. Sensing the heightened emotional state from Skywalker, his apprentice turns to look at the couple. Her Jedi guard takes a step toward them. No mind-trick here, the battle hardened war veteran gives a brief intimidating you-really-don't-want-to-fuck-with-me-right-now stare at the clean cut recently graduated from the Academy guard and he steps back. The Padawan turns and looks away. Composing himself, Anakin says he knows she still loves him and that deep down they should be together. Padme doesn't reply but looks torn. Anakin says he'll win her back, steps back and gives a respectful bow to the Princess. They part. WIPE TO...

OBI-WAN MEETING WITH THE CHANCELLOR LATER IN THE EVENING. The meeting is to discuss tactical issues in defending the Middle Rim planets in the Republic from Separatists incursion. Essentially the Chancellor wants to promote Obi-Wan with greater command responsibility in the region and make him a General. Palpatine says that Kenobi was recommended by the Jedi Council as the best person for the job. Kenobi says he'll do his best. Leaving the meeting Obi-Wan runs into Blaan and Padme on their way out. The Prince says they were going to dinner. In the middle of small talk, Blaan says he forgot something in the office and leaves to get it and Obi-Wan and Padme talk where she mentions going back to Naboo to visit her mother the Queen. She also mentions seeing Anakin and she's concerned about him and Obi-Wan says the war has been hard on all of us but Anakin will work through his issues and be alright. The new General says if she ever needs anything he's at her beck and call. Feeling a bit relieved the Princess says she's grateful for his friendship. Her husband comes back and the couple and officer part ways. WIPE TO...

AWARD CEREMONY FOR ANAKIN THE NEXT MORNING.  We come in at the end of the ceremony where Skywalker has received his medal and promotion to Colonel. Kenobi and he are talking when Palpatine steps in and heaps much praise on the awardee. The Chancellor then says he has a good FEELING about the Jedi hero.  Palpatine then says before he leaves he must introduce Anakin to someone he should meet. Waving him over, the Chancellor presents to Skywalker Blaan Dorhaan the Prince of Ziaa, who is on the Republic War Council. Blaan happily greets the Jedi who feigns a smile as he recognizes Padme's husband. Blaan says he'd love to get Anakin's input on the war effort from a front line POV and they should set a time to talk. Skywalker says he'll make that happen. As Dorhaan walks away the Colonel looks at him coldly before turning to engage with another admirer. WIPE TO....

ANAKIN STANDING BEFORE THE JEDI COUNCIL. Mace Windu says theyve been hearing about some disturbing things concerning the new Colonel's methods on the battle front and he needs to explain his conduct. Anakin says he's just doing his job and winning the war. "What happened on Onariss?" asks Master Ki-Adi-Mundi getting down to business. "I executed the plan drawn up by Master Kenobi and myself to re-establish a controlling presence in the system by advancing on the capital city." Skywalker reports.


Another Council member asks about more details of the battle specifically what happened once they reached the Capital building and Anakin replies about how the fighting went but avoids certain details about the what happened once they reached the building. Windu, tired of the semantics game interjects: "Colonel Skywalker, did you torture captured soldiers on this mission?" Looking the elder Master Jedi in the eyes, Skywalker says, "I obtained vital information from the prisoners after questioning and as a result was able to track down the Separatist leaders of that sector. The objective was achieved and the Onariss system is secure for the Republic." Quiet for most of the meeting, Grandmaster Yoda finally breaks his silence. "Disappointed in you I am.  Better than this, you are. Determine the path you choose, your methods will." Anakin replies, "With all due respect Master Yoda, we're losing this war. The only way I can see for the Republic to stay viable is through strength, A greater show of force. The Jedi Order can do and be so much more in this galaxy if we just show them the proper way." Windu, probing, asks if the proper way is torture? Anakin, standing his ground on doing whats necessary to achieve ones objective. repeats that he was given a mission and achieved results.

Looking down in deep reflection the Grandmaster of the Jedi Order continues, "Not long ago began your journey did you. Been asked to do much, you have. Taking a toll on your spirit, the war is." Master Windu says with authority, "In regards to your service to the Republic and your status as a master in the Jedi Order, we find that your conduct is troubling at the very least." Windu says Skywalker's Padawan will be reassigned and Anakin is ordered out of the field for a period of time so that he can enter into meditation to settle his emotions and thoughts. The Jedi Knight acknowledges the reprimand and says he'll endeavor to live up to the standards and precepts of the Order. After he exits the room Master Windu asks Yoda if he felt the growing turmoil in the man. Yoda says wearily "Great, Skywalker's struggle is. Hmm. To a dark place this line of thought will carry him. Great care he must take.  But good in him there is. Resist the Dark Side on his own, he must.  Yes, hmmm." WIPE TO...

SPACEPORT - PADME AND KORIN ARE LEAVING FOR NABOO. Prince Blaan is seeing them off and making small talk with Padme. She says she'll stay with  her mother the Queen for a couple of weeks then visit with  his parents on Ziaa to set up plans for the birthing ceremony. Blaan is genuine in his affection for his wife and for the first time we see Padme start to warm up to him. He goes to kiss her goodbye and she kisses him back...with feeling.  The ship departs and we see the Princess wave bye to the husband. WIPE TO...



ANAKIN IN HIS APARTMENT MEDITATING.  In the lotus position he's in deep concentration and levitating a few inches off the ground. We MOVE IN on his face and see scenes of action flash and flicker, these as his dreams and premonitions appear to him again. Once again the images are Padme smiling then screaming/Obi-Wan screaming "ANAKIN NO!"/Blaan falling away into an abyss/a demon moving to hit him and a blinding flash of light pass before him. Anakin is hyperventilating as these images play faster and are superimposed over each other. It's all a jumbled blur and he wakes up and falls to the ground with a look of horror. Going to a sink in his room he splashes cold water on his face. The Jedi looks at himself in the mirror going over the scars on his face then looks at his cybernetic right hand. Its clenched into a tight fist and trembling. WIPE TO...

PALPATINE ON HOLOGRAM WITH THE JEDI COUNCIL.
Obi-Wan is in attendance and seated on the council as they give the Chancellor an update on the war in various regions. Palpatine then says he heard that Colonel Skywalker wasn't back to his position on the war front. General Kenobi says that Anakin is taking a break from his duties for a bit to recharge from leading such an aggressive campaign in the Middle Rim. The Chancellor says that Colonel Skywalker's successes in that region is exactly the kind of action and progress the Republic needs to win the war and because of that he wishes to place the Jedi on the War Council. Master Windu objects stating that General Kenobi is already on the council and defends his record and performance but Palpatine says the appointment isn't to replace the General but in addition to, that Skywalker will inject much needed new blood and new way of thinking on the Council and invokes his executive order on the authority of the emergency war powers the senate granted him as Supreme Chancellor which includes direct authority over the Jedi High Council. He says in closing that he expects to see Colonel Skywalker at the next War Council session.

After the meeting the Jedi Masters all confer and agree that Palpatine's actions and the power he wields are a direct threat to the democracy of the Republic and upon the conclusion of the war their first order of business is to make sure he relinquishes the title of Supreme Chancellor. WIPE TO...

TRADE FEDERATION WARSHIPS AND PLANET ZIAA'S WARSHIPS IN HEATED BATTLE OVER NABOO. Its an invasion by the separatist faction but Naboo's alliance with Ziaa brings their armada into the fray. On the surface there is pandemonium as invasion ships are landing and are engaged by Naboo security forces. At the palace, people are scrambling to evacuate the place. Padme and Korin and a protocol droid (not C3PO) bringing up the rear are quickly being escorted by her Royal security team and Jedi bodyguard to an escape ship. Korin says she thought Padme marrying Blaan was going to prevent this kind of thing. Padme says she thought so too. They're about to board the official transport when the head of the Royal Naboo Security Forces reports that the ships carrying the Prime Minister and Queen Amidala have been attacked and shot down. They decide the best way for Padme, the new Queen, to escape is to smuggle her out. The officer in charge of security says he knows a way off the planet. CUT TOO...

THE WAR COUNCIL MEETING WITH THE CHANCELLOR. Anakin, personally invited to session by the Supreme Chancellor himself, is seated near Palpatine. Sitting on the far side of the table is General Kenobi. In the middle of the meeting news arrives of the attack and fall of Naboo. The report announces the Queen and Prime Minister were killed trying to evacuate but there is no news on new Queen Padme Amidala's status. No one knows if she got out or not. Anakin immediately perks up catching the eye of Palpatine. Prince Blaan gets up and excuses himself from the meeting leaving the room quickly followed by Kenobi. There's chatter in the room as the politicians talk among themselves. Outwardly Anakin looks calm and professional. Emotionally he's losing it and Palpatine, chatting with a senator seated next to him, glances at the Jedi as he can sense his intense fear and frustration. CUT TO...

NABOO - PADME AND FAMILY ARRIVING BY HOVERCRAFT TO AN ABANDONED DOCKING FACILITY. In the distance we can hear and see the invasion raging. There they are met by a shady looking man standing in front of his beat up star ship. The security officer introduces him as a smuggler named Garris Shrike who then agrees to get the new Queen off planet for an incredible fee. The officer, disgusted with the mercenary tactic, moves to shoot the smuggler when Padme steps up and orders him to stop. She then steps to Shrike and says that he can have his fee. The deal agreed, Padme, Korin, the droid, two members of the Royal Security team and the Jedi board the ship. CUT TO...

CUROSCANT - THE SECURITY COUNCIL CONFERENCE ROOM. Palpatine talks to Anakin about the situation on Naboo. Anakin just listens. Palpatine asks if there is someone special to him there and Anakin says yes. The Chancellor then tells the Jedi he has permission to intervene in the Naboo invasion and to use a hyperspace lane that would get them to the Naboo system much faster. Anakin gives him a heartfelt thanks and the Chancellor intently watches Skywalker as he leaves the conference room quickly.

Obi-Wan steps out of the Situation Room and sees Anakin hurriedly leaving the building. Catching up to the Colonel, the General asks where he's going. Anakin says they need to go to Naboo to make sure Padme is safe. Kenobi tries to sympathize but says they have their assignments and that the Ziaans have that responsibility. Obi-Wan says that he knows how much he's infatuated with Padme but he reminds Skywalker that Amidala is a married woman. Anakin blanches in anger at his friend then says that he has permission from the Supreme Chancellor to intervene and if Kenobi wants to stop him then he has to shoot him. The General watches stunned as his subordinate turns his back and briskly walks out of the building.  WIPE TO...

NABOO - SHRIKES SHIP. With the precious cargo aboard and hidden in the secret compartments, they leave orbit and a unit of Separatist droid fighters surround the ship and demand to board. Garris lands on a Droid Control Ship and allows them on board to scan the vessel. As the droids walk through the ship, inside the secret compartments, we see Padme in one very claustrophobic sized cabin and Korin is in another trying to suppress a cough after dust blew up in her face from the dusty compartment door slamming shut.


Inside Padme's compartment, she spots a blaster on the wall and picks it up. We can hear the clunk of metal on metal as the droids walk near and stop at her compartment. Padme protectively puts her left hand on her belly and moves her index finger on the trigger of the blaster in her right hand. She doesn't realize she's holding her breath. In her compartment, Korin is turning red holding in the reflex to cough. Shrike fast talks his way through the inspection while producing fake credentials showing him to be a CIS (the Separatists) sympathizer. Just as they're about to give the all clear, Korin coughs, the droids stop and Shrike, quick drawing his weapon, starts blasting droids and shoots his way out of the Control ship.

Now in open space a wild chase ensues. Padme, Korin and others emerge from their compartments to witness Shrike flying like a mad man dodging fire from the droid fighters that are closing in. The smuggler tries a few times to jump to hyperspace but the hyper-drive system fails. One of the security team members offers to fly the ship so Shrike can fix the problem and they exchange positions. While he works frantically to repair the hyper-drive, everyone is jostled about as the ship takes damaging hits on its quickly diminishing shields. The squadron of droid fighters position themselves for one final strike on the smuggler's ship when Anakin and a squadron of clone fighters arrive out of hyperspace. Contacting the fleeing starship, he's told the new Queen is on board and request assistance. Anakin acknowledges and the Republic forces immediately engage the droid fighters. A spectacular dog fight follows with Anakin executing superior flying skills and taking out a number of droid ships himself. The clones destroy the rest just as Shrike announces he's fixed the hyper-drive system. The smuggler ship carrying the Queen as well as Anakin and the clones all slip into hyperspace before more droid fighters arrive. WIPE TO...

REFUGEES ARE ARRIVING AT CUROSCANT SPACEPORT. Evening is falling upon the Capital City and some of the Naboo refugees are coming into the space port and families are reunited. At the VIP section of the port lands the beat up space freighter with Anakin and the clone security surrounding it. Once on the ground, out comes Korin and the droid. They're quickly followed by Padme with her Jedi guard and Naboo security. Skywalker pops the cockpit of his fighter, jumps to the ground and briskly walks toward Padme when Prince Blaan, who was standing by, rushes in to hug his wife. Blaan's back is to Anakin and Padme opens her eyes to see him standing a distance away looking at her. Still hugging her husband she looks at the Jedi and silently mouths the words "thank-you".  A distance away from Anakin a small spy droid is watching him. From the droid's POV we see it focus on Anakin then on what he's looking at...Padme hugging and kissing Prince Blaan. In his office, Palpatine watches the secure feed  of this on a tablet and smiles at the discovery of the Jedi's affections. Turning off the display he calls his assistant in and tells her to keep him informed on Queen Amidala's whereabouts and movements. The reunited couple is quickly hustled away under heavy security. Obi-Wan, who was also waiting at the platform, is talking to the smuggler who is demanding payment for his delivery of the Queen. Anakin stands alone, watching from a distance the married couple leave the port area. WIPE TO...

CUROSCANT - ANAKIN IN PALPATINE'S OFFICE. Its a few days later and Anakin is in a private meeting with the Chancellor. He just lightly debates the Jedi on doing the wrong thing for the right reasons and how a selfish act can sometimes lead to a greater good overall. Ideals that connect with Anakin's goal of getting Padme back. The Chancellor says he has some business he has to attend to and he dismisses Anakin with a cheery smile and the last words, "you have great potential ahead of you, Skywalker, you just have to remove the obstacles in front of you.." After the Jedi leaves, he opens a secure hologram of Darth Maul who pops up and Palpatine tells him to prepare a special mission involving the Capitol world of Coruscant. WIPE TO...



BLAAN SPOTTING ANAKIN  IN THE ASSEMBLY HALL AS THEY AWAIT PALPATINES STATE OF THE REPUBLIC ADDRESS. Bright and early the next morning  and the two step into an elevator of the glass building with a few other politicians and on the ride up Blaan says he would like to  thank the Jedi once again for saving his wife and Anakin humbly says he just saw his duty and done it. Turning to business, the Prince asks Anakin if he has some time after the address to go over some details of the war effort in the Outer Rim and Anakin agrees. They step onto a floor  80 stories up and take their seats, behind them is a large glass window, we see the nonstop floating traffic. In the great hall is a large video display of the Chancellor giving his address to the politicians and potentates in attendance. His speech is about winning the war and there are frequent rousing applause. Obi-Wan is one floor up in a room with other military officers. He's sitting near a large glass window himself and looking out with small binoculars he sees Anakin sitting near Blaan one floor below. CUT TO...

PADME AND KORIN  AT THE SPACE PORT. The Queen sees her personal assistant and best friend off at the space port. They discuss Korin overseeing the setting up of the birthing ceremony on Ziaa and she tries to console Padme about Naboo Padme says she'll be along in a few days, she wants to start the process of retaking her planet while she's here and the senate is in session. They hug and the handmaiden departs. WIPE TO...

THE ASSEMBLY HALL - PALPATINES STATE OF THE REPUBLIC ADDRESS. The Chancellor is thundering away in his rousing speech when suddenly an explosion rocks the building and the windows are shattered. The concussion of the explosion causes bodies to fly all over the place and Prince Blaan flies out the window. At the last second, Anakin grabs his wrist as he's hanging out of the opening, debris is flying all over. On the floor above, Obi-Wan, still woozy and nose bleeding from the concussion of the bomb, drags himself to the window frame on his floor and peers through the dust and debris at the floor below him to see if he can spot Anakin. He sees his friend hanging out of the window frame holding on to someone. Looking through his binoculars he sees its Prince Blaan hanging by his wrist in Anakin's gloved cybernetic hand. There are bodies on the floor behind them and no one has gotten to him yet. Its eerily silent and still as the dust settles . Anakin has Blaan firmly in his grasp and begins to pull him up when he stops. The Prince, whose ears are bleeding and has cuts and bruises on his face, looks up at Skywalker and sees the emotion drain from the Jedi's face. Obi-Wan, now magnifying his binoculars to see closer up, sees the Jedi stop pulling the Prince up, holding in him in place. Skywalker, staring directly into Blaan's eyes, opens his hand and releases him. Obi-Wan screams "ANAKIN NO!!" and  he reflexively tries to Force levitate the falling man but, still too dazed, can't do it and we see the Prince plummet eighty stories. Summoning all of his might Kenobi dashes through the crowd to get to the floor below him. Anakin pulls himself back on the floor and runs over the dead and injured for the exit. The two Jedi Knights see each other in the hallway. Kenobi calls out to Skywalker who runs to the floor exit and the chase is on. CUT TO...

PADME IN A HOVER VEHICLE ARRIVING AT THE ASSEMBLY HALL. She's stepping out of the vehicle just as all hell is breaking loose. She looks at the Assembly hall building and its heavily damaged and smoke is pouring from it. Security moves to get her back in the vehicle and she yells "My husband is in there!" Security reassure her they will check into it once she's secure and the caravan leaves the scene quickly. CUT TO...

 THE ASSEMBLY HALL LOWER LEVEL. We're in an area that's been evacuated. There are major cracks in the walls and column positions are shifted off their base here. Running through the floor Obi-Wan calls out for Anakin to stop. The renegade Jedi does and turns around to face his former master. Face to face, Kenobi asks why Anakin did what he did. Skywalker doesn't answer the question but calmly says that his former master is bleeding and should seek medical attention. Kenobi demands an answer and Anakin says coldly "Dorhaan was weak. He didn't deserve her." His voice rising in anger he continues, "He couldn't save her. I could. I DID!" Obi-Wan tells him that he can't let him go and that the Jedi Council will- Anakin cuts him off and reveals his true his true feelings about the Jedi Order saying, "I no longer care what the Jedi Council will do! They're all old men and the Order is weak! They couldn't stop the war from happening and the way they're fighting it is ineffective. The only way to win a fight is by using all of your strength. Going where your enemy isn't willing. Doing what needs to be done. I'm now seeing that the Jedi Order isn't prepared to do that."

Obi-Wan tells him that he's expressing Dark Side philosophy. Anakin says the only times he's truly felt powerful and effective was when he used the Force to its full potential and recounts the information he got from the separatist terror suspect on Kiiron and the information he got from torture during the skirmish on Onariss. Skywalker states that he was given commendations for the battles he's won and that's only because he used the Force in ways the Jedi never would.



Obi-Wan, near tears and pleading with his eyes, apologizes for his apparent failure in teaching his former apprentice the ways of the Jedi Knights. Kenobi reaches for his light saber and ignites it. Taking a breath, he declares in an authoritative voice to his brother in arms, "By the authority of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, Anakin Skywalker you are under arrest." Silent, the renegade Jedi Knight telekinetically draws his light saber into his hand and ignites it. {CLOSE UPS OF BOTH THEIR EYES} The two are about to make their move when a building security guard enters the room telling them that the floor is off limits and in danger of collapsing. Obi-Wan averts his eyes off Anakin for a split second to tell the guard to get the hell out of there and at that moment Anakin force pushes a column causing part of the ceiling to collapse. Force pushing the guard out of the way of the falling debris, Obi-Wan turns to face his adversary and peering through the dust its clear Skywalker is gone. WIPE TO...

CIS ARMADA APPROACHING PLANET ZIAA - An enormous ship, shaped like a cigar with the flat front end housing a number of laser nodes, is flanked by a half dozen CIS battle ships, The look of the laser nodes is very similar to the super-laser design seen on the Death Star. The fleet moves toward the grey-greenish home world of Prince Dorhaan. On board. the Executive Officer notifies Admiral Tarkin that they have arrived at the target destination in the Ziaa System. He acknowledges and gives the order for preparation to fire the super weapon. WIPE TO...

JEDI COUNCIL ROOM - MACE WINDU AND YODA ARE IN CONFERENCE WITH OBI-WAN WHO IS ON HOLOGRAM. They're talking about the bombing and that the Chancellor is publicly blaming the Separatists for it. Windu says his feelings in the Force gives him doubts about that story. Obi-Wan tells him that Anakin killed the Prince of Ziaa and Windu says they tried to contact him separately and have gotten no answer.  Obi Wan says he's going to look for Anakin and the Council should put out feelers for his whereabouts but Yoda tells Kenobi that's not a priority at this moment and he needs his help investigating who attacked the Assembly Hall. After the conference is over, the Council members agree that the matter should be handled privately since they don't want the Senate nor the public to know that a Jedi Knight has gone rogue. CUT TO...

ANAKIN IN HIS PERSONAL TRANSPORT GOING TO SEE PALPATINE. He's speeding through the floating traffic and he has a shocked look on face as the weight of his actions are now sinking in. Gathering his thoughts he makes his way towards the Supreme Chancellor's secure quarters. Once at the heavily guarded building his security clearance gives him entrance and he makes his way to Palpatine's office. The Chancellor is finishing up a hasty meeting with his military advisers, on hologram is Mace Windu. Skywalker waits in the shadows for the meeting to end. Agreeing to some measures to re-secure the capital city, Palpatine clears the room of everyone. Just before signing off Windu asks the Chancellor if he had been in contact with Skywalker recently, Palpatine (knowing Anakin is in the room) says no. With the room empty, Anakin steps foward. They both exchange concerns about the capital bombing and what needs to be done next when Palpatine says he can feel something weighing on Anakin and is there anything he needs to talk about?

Anakin talks about Padme and the first time they met. Palpatine asks is this is who he was worried about during the invasion of Naboo and Anakin confirms. When Palpatine says she's married to the Prince of Ziaa. Anakin, indignant, objects and says that the union was fake and she doesn't love him. Then in an almost rambling fashion he recounts the bombing at the Assembly Hall and how Blaan got blown out of the window in the explosion. That he initially caught the man then before he knew what was happening the Prince slipped out of his grip. "He...slipped out of your hand?" Palpatine looks down at one of Anakin's cybernetic sturdy looking hands. Stating that while he's happy that Skywalker came to him first, he can't help by wonder why he didn't go to someone in the Jedi Order with this? "I can't go to them...I no longer think there is a place for myself in the Order." Anakin takes a breath, "A brother saw me with Dorhaan, he saw him fall. He didn't slip...I let him go."
"I see..." says Palpatine seeing the anguish and conflict play out on Anakin's face. "It's good that you came to me with this. Rest assure, we'll work through this my good man." The Sith pats Skywalker on the shoulder consolingly while inwardly relishing the turmoil raging in the young man. WIPE TOO.

PADME AT HER SAFE LOCATION.  Obi-Wan arrives at the safe house and speaks with Padme who asks about her husband. He breaks the news to her that Prince Blaan was killed in the bombing. He tells her about how much damage the explosion caused but stops short at saying anything about Anakin being there. Obi-Wan holds her as she cries. He asks what are her plans and Padme says that she was working on a plan to free Naboo from the Trade Federation but in light of the current situation she'll escort her husband's body back to Ziaa and be with his parents for awhile.  Obi-Wan gives his condolences again and leaves to go investigate the bombing. Padme gathers herself and tells security to make arrangements to leave for Ziaa as soon as soon as possible. WIPE TO...

SEPARATIST WAR SHIPS PARKED NEAR A MOON OF PLANET ZIAA.  The fleet of Ziaan ships are moving in to intercept the CIS battleships and are met by droid fighters. While thats happening the ship's crew is preparing to fire the super laser. Tarkin has Dooku on hologram prepared to relay the results. The power-up process completed, they fire the super-laser. The bolt strikes the planet and a roiling wave of destruction consumes the surface of Ziaa. The planet itself is not totally obliterated but all life on Ziaa is destroyed. CUT TO:



*Yoda, alone meditating in his chambers, is suddenly startled. He looks up sensing a huge disturbance in the force.

*Obi-Wan and Mace Windu at the Assembly Hall overseeing the investigation. Both are shaken and look at each other in a "did you feel that?" manner  as well.

*Anakin, in one of the living quarters near Palpatine's office, feels a huge disturbance and shudders.

*Palpatine in the middle of reading a report suddenly looks up, feeling the disturbance and smiling broadly. CUT TO...

Tarkin reports the results of the devastation in an almost disappointed fashion and Dooku says to keep working at it. WIPE TO...

CUROSCANT- PALPATINE'S OFFICE. Anakin walks back into Palpatine's office and the Chancellor tells him that the Jedi Council will issue an arrest warrant for him. The murder of a foreign dignitary carries a death penalty and for his crime, Palpatine says, the Senate will push for the ultimate punishment. But, the Chancellor says, that he can protect him. Extending his hand toward Anakin, Palpatine says in order to personally protect him, Skywalker must leave the Jedi Order and pledge loyalty to him. The Jedi looks at the friendly gesture in deep conflict, then takes the Sith Lord's hand with both of his and agrees to his terms. Smiling, the Chancellor re-assuredly pats Skywalker on the back and tells him everything will fine. WIPE TO...

PADME AT HER SAFE LOCATION. Amidala's going over her travel plans with her security detail when Anakin contacts her on a small handheld device. Asking for privacy and alone, she tells Anakin that Blaan is dead. She says she's leaving for Ziaa to return him to his home planet. Anakin asks if he can meet her at the spaceport. Padme says she's in a period of of mourning and hesitates and Anakin pleads to meet with her just briefly. CUT TO, Palpatine's assistant stepping  into his office and tells him that Queen Amidala's security team has made plans to leave for planet Ziaa, when she steps out of the office we see the Sith Lord bring up Darth Maul on his secure hologram display. WIPE TO...



PLANET ZIAA - KORIN'S TRANSPORT. The ship arrives out of hyperspace. The pilot tries to hail the planet for landing approach and get no response. One pilot says "I don't have a good feeling about this".  Approaching the planet they see the swirling storms of devastation and wonder out loud what could have caused such destruction.  The pilots decide to contact Curoscant and report their return. The ship turns around and goes back into hyperspace. WIPE TO.

GENERAL GRIEVOUS BATTLESHIP. There is an armada of Confederate battleships in formation. Darth Maul is on hologram to the General and relays a message from Palpatine that the attack on the capital planet can proceed as planned. WIPE TO...

CUROSCANT - SPACE PORT TRANSPORT PAD.  The sun is setting and the transport vessel for Queen Amidala lands on the open air pad and her security contingent starts to board. Just as she's about to board, Anakin steps from the shadows and calls her name. Padme tells her security to stand down and the two meet on the open pad. They stand in front of each other but don't hug because that would be inappropriate given her position and status. Anakin offers his condolences and says that he wanted to give them to her personally but trails off. Then he says it was her beautiful face that got him through the hardest days in his life and that even though sadness abounds for now he pledges to always be there for her. The Queen looks up into Anakin's eyes and smiles. taking his hand into her's, she's just about to reply when Her smiling face turns to wide eyed horror and she screams.

The transport pad is rocked by explosions and laser fire as invading CIS ships fly over head. Anakin covers Padme as her transport vessel is destroyed by incoming fire. Droid ships land and battle droids disembark and start to pick off the Queen's security team. Anakin takes Padme by the hand and they run for cover as pandemonium ensues. Republican forces already in the area engage with the advancing battle droids. Anakin, the Jedi guard and a few Naboo guards protect the Queen by  returning fire from their pinned position. A Naboo guard is killed and drops his weapon and Padme picks it up. Her eyes squinted and teeth clenched, she starts shooting back. Skywalker looks at her with a double take and smiles to himself. Anakin and his Queen against the world, the way it should be. Darth Maul is the last to disembark from the droid troop ship. He walks down the ramp and surveys the battle. Seeing Anakin and Padme, Maul directs the battle droids to clear a path and he moves in on his target. Through the lazer fire and explosions Anakin sees the Sith who may be responsible for his parents murder, who killed his first Master, who cut off his arms and almost killed him, the demon in his visions. Maul points at his battle droids and they move to another part of the space port platform, clearing an area. Anakin calls over to  Padme's Jedi guard and say that the Sith is the commander here, they need to take him out. The guard looks at his charge, the Queen of Naboo, who says "It's okay, go with Anakin." then goes back to firing on droids. The two Jedi Knights ignite their light sabers and start to move on the Sith Lord. CUT TO..

JEDI TEMPLE - OBI-WAN AND MACE WINDU IN A PITCHED BATTLE WITH DROID INVADERS. Night creeps in and from a distance the scene looks like the finale of a fireworks display gone awry. Laser fire and explosions criss cross everywhere. Obi-Wan and Mace Windu are leading a few dozen Jedi and Padawans in defending the Temple against droid troopers advancing on the building. The droids are overwhelming the Jedi who are getting picked off. Padawans are gamely fighting back but they succumb to the speed and sheer numbers of the battle droids. Windu, Kenobi and the other Council members use offensive weapons and deflect laser fire with their light sabers trying to protect the younglings and regain control of the Temple. A contingent of six battle droids breaks off from the intense fighting in the main hall and make their way to a meditation chamber. One battle droid fires from his wrist gun and blows the door off its hinges. When the smoke clears, Yoda calmly walks through the smoke and dust. All six droids train their weapons on the small green wizened Jedi elder who raises his hands in a martial art pose.

At the front of the Temple, the surviving Jedi Knights are still fighting off the battle droids when a Padawan (Skywalker's former protege) runs up to Obi-Wan and says that he saw a pack of battle droids going towards Master Yoda's meditation chamber. Kenobi tells him that Yoda can handle himself but the kid shouts he's going to help and runs for the chambers. Successfully deflecting several volleys of laser fire back at the droids, Obi-Wan is too engulfed in the fighting to object. We follow the kid as he sprints down the hall and we can hear intense laser fire and explosions coming from Yoda's chambers. Rounding a corner the kid ignites his light saber and jumps into the room only to see Yoda standing peacefully in the middle of a pile of smoking droid parts. "End this, we must." The diminutive Grand Master says to the shocked Padawan while heading for the clash at the front of the Temple. CUT TO...

SPACE PORT TRANSPORT PAD. Even in the midst of a raging gun fight, the Force Sensitives prepare to clash.The Jedi Knights maneuver around the Sith Lord. The last time Skywalker encountered the demon from his visions, he was a Padawan and his arms were severed in the process. Anakin and the guard, their light sabers glowing, cautiously close the distance between them and Darth Maul who calmly ignites his double saber.


All three engage quickly with both Jedi Knights striking almost simultaneously. Darth Maul's blinding speed deflects both blows and he responds with rapid strikes putting both Jedi on the defensive. Amazingly, the three fight while still managing to deflect stray laser fire in their direction from the skirmish around them. The Sith,sensing more fear from the Jedi guard, presses his attack on him while keeping Skywalker at bay. Even with  more experience than before, Anakin is frustrated that he's only doing slightly better than the last time he faced this opponent. Another swift exchange and the Queen's Jedi guard is killed so fast that he barely registers it before collapsing. The demon from Anakin's visions now turns to face him once again. CUT TO...

JEDI TEMPLE - The battle is starting to wind down and the Jedi Knights are pushing back the droid invaders with the help of arriving clone troopers. Obi-Wan says that he going to respond to a call for assistance from Queen Amidala's guard, jumps into a hover car, and heads in the direction of the space port. CUT TO..

SPACE PORT TRANSPORT PAD. Anakin and Maul square off again while Padme and a few guards still able to fight try to blast their way past the few remaining droids. Anakin sustains a few light saber burns on his legs and chest but is still able to fight and Maul toys with him. The guards get whittled down to the last one with Padme and he dies destroying the last droid  The way clear, the Queen starts to run for it but looks back at Anakin who is struggling in fighting Maul. He yells to her, "GO!" She turns to leave when the Sith, telekinetically drawing a blaster off the floor to his hand, shoots Padme in the back.

Falling to the ground in a heap, the young Queen doesn't move.

Anakin stands frozen in shocked silence.

The demon tosses the gun away and smiles.


Bellowing an almost inhuman cry of anguish, the renegade Jedi Knight launches into a vicious attack against the Sith Lord. Skywalker's rage is damn near tangible as he assaults Maul nonstop. Tears stream from his eyes and wailing out loud with every strike, Skywalker forces Maul, desperately trying to defend himself, back on his heels. The Sith tries to levitate to elevated platforms for a higher ground advantage and just to gain some breathing room but Anakin stays on top of him, hammering away at his defenses {dramatic mournful version of Darth Vader's theme plays over} During the close quarter clash, Darth Maul looks at Anakin Skywalker's eyes and sees they've become yellow tinged like his own, signally he's fully embraced the Dark Side of the Force and it's flowing through the enraged Jedi. Getting Maul cornered, Anakin first breaks his double light-saber in half and cuts off his left arm in the process. Maul dodges a strike from Anakin and parries with a strike of his own that hits the Jedi, sinking the tip of his light-saber into his chest. Undeterred, Anakin proceeds to quarter the Sith mercilessly, cutting off his remaining appendages.

A limbless stump sitting upright on the ground, the last thing Darth Maul sees is a swipe of blue light.

Anakin Skywalker finally beheads the demon who has haunted his dreams and life for years.

The battle over, the former Jedi collapses with exhaustion. He turns to where Padme is lying and drags himself over to her, gasping and wheezing trying to draw breath into his severely damaged lungs. Cradling her in his arms he weeps inconsolably and, his throat completely raw from screaming, hoarsely calls her name over and over. Padme regains consciousness enough to tell him she always loved him and that she wished things would have been different. Then she reaches for his hand, puts it on her belly and looks into his eyes and says "this is your son..." She passes away with her eyes open and Anakin closes them and kisses her gently on the lips. Then gently lays her down and lies beside her, holding her hand, hoping to slip into the void with her for eternity.

Clone troopers and another contingent of Naboo security arrive on the scene at the same time and separate the two {CLOSE UP OF PADME'S HAND SLIPPING OUT OF ANAKIN'S}. The jostling wakes up Anakin who weakly struggles to stay with Padme. An officer of the troopers rushes to his side and gently tries to calm him down and Anakin lays back still calling out to his love. After he's loaded in the transport vehicle, The officer in charge motions for the vehicle to move out. Obi-Wan arrives just as Padme's transport departs. Jumping out of the hover car, the Jedi surveys the aftermath of the battle with utter shock at the causalities. Walking around the area he spots Anakin's light saber on the ground. Picking it up it still feels very warm then he sees the Sith's dissected body nearby. Grabbing another officer on the scene, General Kenobi demands to know what happened. The officer says they arrived after the battle was over, Colonel Skywalker and the Queen from Naboo were just taken away. Kenobi asks where is Skywalker being transported to? The officer says that the Chancellor ordered Skywalker moved to his private medical facility. Thunder rolls heavily over head and it starts to rain hard as Obi-Wan stands there looking at the light saber in his hand.WIPE TO...

KORIN'S TRANSPORT - The ship comes out of hyperspace only to see Coruscant is under siege. They get the news that Queen Padme Amidala was killed during a clash with invading CIS forces. Korin is grief stricken and demands to be taken to the capital immediately  CUT TO...

CHANCELLOR'S MEDICAL FACILITY We see the process of the medical droids working to save Anakin who is unconscious. They clean up the wounds and burns on his body and work on repairing his lungs. In another room Palpatine watches the procedures on video display intently. CUT TO...

MEDICAL FACILITY WHERE PADME IS LOCATED- The Queen is being examined by a MRI type machine and its discovered that not only is the baby still alive and unharmed but there's two. In a discreet procedure Padme's body is kept functioning while the medical droids deliver the two fully formed but undersized babies. Korin, crying, watches from behind a glass partition in the room. CUT TO...

CHANCELLOR'S MEDICAL FACILITY Anakin is still under the knife and the medic droids attach a dark grey breather mask that covers Skywalker's nose and mouth. Small breathing tubes follow the contour of his neck and lead from the mask to a artificial lung/monitor thats strapped around his chest. The Chancellor asks if Skywalker will survive and the medical droid replies that his lungs have been too severely damaged and he must be fitted with a breather apparatus but he will recover. The device is activated and we hear the all too familiar iron lung rhythmic breathing pattern it produces. Palpatine smiles to himself. CUT TO...

MEDICAL FACILITY - KORIN IS WITH PADME - The newborns are placed in incubators not far from Padme. Korin is standing next to her bed holding her hand telling her about the status of the children and pledging to make sure they are taken care of. We see lightning flash from the bay window in the room and hear rain beating against it. CUT TO...

CHANCELLOR'S MEDICAL FACILITY Its a torrential downpour as Obi-Wan arrives and is stopped by clone security who tells him his clearance isn't high enough for access then checks his ear piece and allows the Jedi Knight in. Palpatine watches on a monitor as Kenobi enters the building and walks through the halls.

Anakin starts to come to and looks around the room. Semi groggy, he rises out of the bed and walks to a mirror on the wall and sees the reflection of a person who is increasingly less human. At that moment the door opens and Obi-Wan walks in. They look at each other and Anakin asks about Padme, his voice altered by the mask to a metallic baritone. Obi-Wan looks down and says she died at the space port. Anakin falters and almost collapses from the news and Obi-Wan moves to support his friend but Anakin pushes him away and moves wearily to sit in an armchair in the room. Tears well up in his eyes as the last moments with her come back to him and he says "Padme said I had a son. She's dead and my son is dead." His breathing becomes more rapid and the lights start to flicker in the room. "There is nothing left for me. I'm not a husband, not a father..." Obi-Wan looks at Anakin's yellow tinged eyes and the renegade says with defiance and without blinking "I'm not a Jedi." We see Anakin's reflection in the mirror across the room just before it shatters and a sturdy looking cylinder on the wall starts to crumple like a soda can being squeezed by an invisible hand. Most of the lights in the room blink out. Obi-Wan starts to say something but Skywalker says with barely contained anger "You need to leave now." Dejected, Kenobi turns and leaves the room without a word. Lightning flashes and thunder growls in the distance and for a moment we hold on the sullen figure, sitting in the chair, filled with bitter anger and hatred.



Anakin Skywalker is left alone in the darkness.

Stepping into the hallway the Jedi Knight is met by the Chancellor who says that Skywalker has stated his renunciation of the Jedi Order and as such is working directly in the office of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. Clone troopers escort Kenobi out.  WIPE TO...


JEDI TEMPLE - The battle is over but the temple has sustained major damage. Clone troopers secure the perimeter and we move through the temple hall and see the covered bodies of the fallen Jedi Knights, padawans and younglings lined up along the way. Whats left of the Jedi Elders are gathered together and question how the attack could have happened, they also question Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's leadership and motives. They heavily suspect that Chancellor Palpatine is not who he seems and they decide to concentrate on dealing with him. Mace Windu says " It will be tricky. The Jedi Council will have to take control of the Senate to ensure a peaceful transition to a new government and a new leadership for the Republic." Obi-Wan comes in and tells them that Anakin has renounced the Order and is under the protection of the Chancellor. He also states that Anakin's crossed to the Dark side of the Force. "For Palpatine  a powerful ally, Skywalker makes." Yoda states forebodingly, In the middle of the meeting a lower level Jedi enters and says that there is an emergency communication from the assistant to the Queen of Naboo in regards to the Queen Amidala herself. The assistant has an urgent request to meet with master Kenobi as soon as possible. Yoda considers that Naboo was invaded and now Padme is dead, tells Obi-Wan to go to the meeting in the hopes of making something right for them. The Grandmaster says when they figure out a plan for dealing with Palpatine he'll inform him. Obi-Wan nods in agreement. WIPE TO...

PADME'S MEDICAL FACILITY - In a conference room of the facility, Korin and Obi-Wan are discussing the events and what they must do. She tells Kenobi, who is momentarily shocked speechless, of Ziaa's destruction. At that moment Master Windu comes into the room. Obi-Wan reassures Korin that the man is wholly trustworthy and to continue. Windu confirms her report saying he's just learned about what happened to Ziaa. Mace asks how Padme was killed and Obi-Wan says that when he arrived on the scene he found Anakin there as well as the Sith who killed master Qui-Gon. He says that apparently Anakin and the Sith must have battled and Padme was probably killed in the cross-fire. Windu asks about Anakin's status and Obi- Wan says while severely injured he was alive. After a moment of contemplation Obi-Wan lays out the situation: with  Padme dead, Dorhaan dead, grand parents on both sides dead, the children are orphaned.

Korin takes a breath and hesitantly reveals to the Jedi Knights that the children still have a parent left. She says, "Padme confided in me that Anakin Skywalker is the biological father of the twins." Both men sit back in shock trying to process what she said. She continues, "Shortly before she married Prince Dorhaan, Padme and Anakin had an... impromptu rendezvous. When she discovered she was pregnant soon after the wedding she had a special test done in secret to settle a question she had. The medical droid tested the fetus's dna against Blaan's and it wasn't a match. The only other man she was with intimately was Master Skywalker.  She had me wipe the droid's memory and record of that test and swore me to secrecy." Tears stream down her cheeks as she talks, "Padme absolutely loved Anakin Skywalker, sirs. It tore her apart that she couldn't be with him. Maybe he should be told about his children." Obi-Wan looks at Mace Windu then brings his own revelation to the table. "I witnessed Anakin drop Blaan Dorhaan out of a window after the bomb exploded at the Assembly Hall." Korin gasps at the news. "Afterward, I confronted him about it and he admitted to doing it on purpose." Kenobi then looks at  Korin and says, "The man Queen Amidala may have fallen in love with no longer exists." Obi-Wan turns to Windu and says "Anakin Skywalker is very powerful in the Force, has influence with the Supreme Chancellor and is very dangerous." Master Windu speaks up, "If those are his children its very likely they will have great potential in the Force as well. Skywalker's influence will cause them to have the same fate as their father. Against our better judgement we inadvertently put Skywalker on this path. It would be reckless for us to allow the same fate to befall his children. Splitting them up will make it more difficult for the Sith to sense their existence." Obi-Wan is slightly shaken at the word Sith being used in reference to his friend.

Korin is reluctant to break the twins up but agrees if it means their safety. She says that Padme was close friends with Bail and Breha Organa of Alderaan royalty. They've already adopted a child and were considering adopting another, Padme's daughter will be a happy addition for them. She will be much cared for and Korin can get a position on their staff and will keep an eye on her as well. Obi-Wan says "The only person I can think of is a relative of Anakin's whom I met on a mission a few years ago. Anakin rarely had contact with him as he was estranged from the family, some business disagreement with his father caused a rift they never reconciled but in the time I met him, he seemed like a good kind man. Hiding the boy in plain sight may be the best option we have. But I'll make sure to keep watch over him."  The three solemnly nod in agreement. WIPE TO...



SUPREME CHANCELLOR PALPATINE'S PRIVATE HOME - Its a week later and Palpatine is complimenting Anakin on his rapid recovery in such a short time. The two are strolling through his private arboretum and Palpatine is telling Skywalker now that he is free from the constraints of the Jedi Order, it's time for him to reach his full potential. Then he brings up that he's heard that the Order was searching for Sith. Anakin says he killed one. The one who murdered his Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padme Amidala and if there are more he's going to wipe out the whole organization. Palpatine chuckles and says "The Sith isn't an organization. To be a Sith is to be free from the kind of shackles people like the Jedi put on you. You were able to defeat your enemy and take revenge on him because you tapped into the hate you have for him and that passion gave you the edge." Anakin considers this. He goes on, "That creature you killed was a Sith but he was acting on his own accord for his own agenda. Which apparently was chaos. You destroying him was restoring an order we so desperately need."

Anakin stops and looks at the Chancellor. "Youre a Sith, sir?" he asked. Palpatine looks at him with a slight sly smile, "I understand the ways of the Force, yes, but I do not agree with the Jedi Order on how to use it. If they want to call me Sith so be it. But I'm in a position to bring order to the galaxy and with you, young Skywalker, at my side that will happen." Then Palpatine leads the young man to an ornate structure, the door slides open to reveal a room where sits a line up of small shards of crystals lying on a padded bed of satin as well as parts and mechanisms for constructing weapons. {MENACING MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY} Anakin says they're Kyber crystals, like the one he used to construct his light saber after completing his Jedi training. The Sith says he understands Skywalker lost his weapon after his dual so here is his opportunity to create another one. Anakin asks if Palpatine has one and the Sith Lord states that his knowledge of the Force is such that the need for that kind of weapon is not necessary. Then he offers to teach Skywalker the ways of the Sith and the full power of the Dark Side of the Force. Anakin looks down and considers his life up to that point and sees only things he's lost. With nothing more to lose he answers yes, he will submit to the teachings of the Sith. Skywalker is told to kneel and recite this creed:

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

Smiling broadly Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, Dark Lord of the Sith tells his apprentice, "The Force is strong with you. You will become a powerful Sith." {ECHOES OF VADER'S THEME PLAY HERE} WIPE TO...

THE FINAL MONTAGE - (SAD MUSIC PLAYS OVER):

* We see the aftermath of the Battle of Coruscant. The city bears many scars of the battle and many buildings are still smoking. The Jedi Temple is significantly damaged. The Supreme Chancellor, on a jumbo video screen delivers an angry speech to the citizens placing blame on the Jedi Order for their failure to prevent the attack. We see clone troopers marching down the streets of the capital city as Marshall Law is proclaimed. We see a shot of the private funeral service for Padme and Blaan attended by Korin, Obi-Wan, Mace Windu and Yoda and small gathering of Naboo and Ziaa citizens. On Naboo we see Newt Gunray and Trade Federation officials administering over the citizens of the invaded planet. We move around planet Ziaa whose surface now looks like the dark side of the Moon as its cratered, grey and lifeless.

*  We see Korin hand over the infant girl to Breha Organa who smiles as she embraces the child and says she will name her Leia. The Organa family crowds around the infant in a welcoming fashion and Korin takes her place with the nursing staff.

* Obi-Wan arrives at Falin Skywalker's home. Falin is an older man (think Mickey Rourke) whose home looks like some kind of futuristic bachelor pad. He takes in his infant grand nephew, still a bit overwhelmed at this new development, he looks at the little child in his arms and says when his wife was pregnant with his son they had decided on a name for the boy but they both died at childbirth, The infant reaches up and grabs his nose. Falin, smiling, says "My, my, Luke Skywalker, you have a strong grip..don't you..."



* We see a phalanx of one hundred clone troopers who are at attention. {MUSIC SWELLS LOUDER}They are presenting themselves to the Supreme Chancellor in a military parade as more forces for the Grand Army of the Republic gather for the coming battles. Palpatine looks over the troops with an evil smile and waves. We see the pristine rows of soldiers snap from attention to present arms stance with clean precision. Standing in front of them is a figure dressed in black tunic and trousers and black hooded cloak. General Anakin Skywalker. The black breather mask over his nose and mouth contributes to this new sleek and menacing look. Pulling out his light saber hilt from under his cloak and we hear the distinctive swoosh sound of it igniting. CLOSE UP as the red glow of the plasma blade highlights his face.

CUT TO BLACK, END THEME, CREDITS ROLL.

check back later I'll be posting the last installment: Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith 

If you liked this one you love how it all comes to a head.

Stay tuned. 

Monday, October 20, 2014

The Star Wars Prequels Rewritten: Enter The Clones


I hate that they keep announcing all of these casting hires for Episode VII.

1. They're spoiling the magic of movie making. Back in my day (I can't believe I said that too) you didn't get details on how a movie was being made before it came out. They may have announced who was starring and who was directing but you didn't get monthly updates and "leaks" on how the production was going. I understand that studios like to use it as a marketing tactic and people are much more interested in how the sausage gets made in movies now than they were then but I can't help but feel like a little bit of the magic is taken away by the information overload.

2. The Star Wars movies aren't about a bunch of different people, it's about the Skywalker family. If episodes 7, 8, 9 are throwing a bunch of people at us WHO AREN'T SKYWALKERS as prominent characters then they screwed up.

Going strictly by the movies, not the novels or comics just the films, what's Han Solo's background? he's Corellian smuggler aaannnd?? What's Chewbacca's background? He's a Wookiee who is Han's sidekick aaand?? Lando Calrissian? Friend of Han's, administrator of cloud city, once owned the millennium falcon aaand? Yoda?? reeally old jedi master aand??

These were great characters but they were what they did..Lucas wisely didn't get into them because the story wasn't about them, it was about Luke, Leia and Vader, all Skywalkers.

Also getting a lot of prominent actors to play roles in the film means you have to do something with them. No one is paying Lupita N'yongo on scale with her popularity and just giving her a 5 minute scene...which means she may have a role that could draw focus away from the Skywalker characters..if it does, they screwed up.

More on that later... Lets get into the second prequel Attack Of The Clones. In the last episode, I put the focus back on Anakin Skywalker where it should have been in the first place. I cut out the extraneous stuff in favor of watching him learn and grow as a Jedi Padawan and the attraction between Padme and him is now more appropriate. For this part of the prequels I wanted to spread things out a bit while still focusing as much as possible on Anakin's development. One of the things that annoy me the most about ensemble cast stories is the trope where only three or four people, in a world of thousands, do anything.

In AOTC, we spend most of the time watching Obi-Wan play Columbo and he conveniently discovers EVERYTHING. He traces a weapon used in Padme's assassination attempt to Kamino where he discovers the clone army being developed. It turns out the template for them is the mercenary Jango Fett, who happens to be there, and gives the most obviously evasive non answers anyone has ever heard. So of course Obi has to follow him and luckily for the Jedi it turns out Fett is working BOTH SIDES of the fence and goes to Geonosis where the droid army is being manufactured. Then he's captured by Count Dooku who's kind enough to monologue the plan for him. In a galaxy of hundreds of Jedi Knights and a conspiracy that spans a couple of systems, one man cracks the case all by himself. On top of that, Anakin and Padme decide to go on the rescue mission in a segment that came off more like a video game rather than nail biter and does nothing advance their story or development. None of those things sat right with me, I get that its a fictional story and blah blah blah but it wouldn't hurt to spread things out.

Also, I changed the title from Attack of the Clones to Enter the Clones. I always felt it was a bit misleading and ambiguous. That's why my poster and title re-design (by the great Gabriel Victor & Neil Bonner) features the clone troopers more prominently and leaves out Jango Fett, who like his son in later movies, should have been treated as a minor figure if he had to be there at all. If anyone knows why Lucas chose that wording in the title please comment I'd be interested to find out.

If you haven't read the first story click the link Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

So without further ado...

IF THE STAR WARS PREQUELS WERE DONE PROPERLY:

Story by: Nic Rellek - Maddcomix
Sketch art by: Nicholas Garza - Torrid ComicsNickAsArt
Sketch art by: Dupree Ch'il HaajinĂ­
Poster art by: Gabriel Victor - Vaakin (tumblr)deviantart
Poster titles by: Neil Bonner - deviantart
Poster touch ups: John Christopher - deviantart
Special Thanks: Todd Reeves


STAR WARS: Enter The Clones


Art courtesy Gabriel Victor - light effects/touch ups - John Christopher/ title - Neil Bonner

video



PLANET KIIRON - WE PAN LEFT AWAY FROM  THE OPENING CRAWL AND SEE A SMALL STAR SHIP APPROACHING A BROWNISH-YELLOW PLANET.  We find Anakin looking at a hologram message from Padme, something like "thinking of you" notes. She says that she really enjoyed the last message he sent her and can't wait to see him again. She mentions that while the Senate drags their feet in dealing with the dispute, her planet is making an alliance with planet Ziaa that should protect them from any further aggression by the Trade Federation and the blockade has been dismantled. The correspondence proves to be a bit of a distraction for Skywalker and Obi-Wan tells his apprentice as much and to keep his mind on the job. He reminds him that the assignment  is to back up a small team of Jedi who have infiltrated a Separatists group planning to blow up a sub committee of Republic senators meeting on Kiiron.


Anakin's attitude is pretty confident as he reassures his master that he's prepared for this mission and recounts a few past successful missions including the Naboo affair where he performed well. Kenobi says be that as it may each job is different and he's expected to conduct himself in a professional manner at all times but especially near mission time. Then the Jedi master sits down, looks his apprentice in the eyes and says there's a chance this group may be in contact with a Sith. This may be their chance to track down the person who murdered Master Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan then reveals that there may have been a Sith presence the day of the bombing on Anakin's home planet Yairn. With this new information introduced, Anakin reassures his master that his head is in the game. After Obi-Wan walks away to another part of the ship, Anakin activates his holographic device again this time bringing up a computer image of the Sith as described by Obi-Wan's brief encounter with him. The image bears a resemblance to the demon in Anakin's visions. The young apprentice stares unblinking at the glowing image.  WIPE TO...


PLANET ZIAA - WE FOLLOW A CARAVAN OF TRANSPORT SHIPS LANDING ON A TARMAC. Several official looking individuals disembark. These are diplomats from Naboo including the Queen and Princess Padme, all are dressed in formal royal make up. While Padme has seen pictures of the Prince of Ziaa, they've never met personally. They are happily greeted by Ziaan officials and invited to the royal palace where they meet the King and and Queen. Pleasantries are exchanged and the Ziaan Queen gushes over Padme, excited about the affair. Later, as the Princess and the Queen are finishing getting the last touches of the ceremonial make up done, Padme starts hinting at misgivings about the arrangement. Her mother pooh-poohs her trepidation as just nerves and tells her that the man she's betrothed to is a good man and once the wedding ceremony is over she will feel better about the whole thing. Padme looks at her reflection in the big make up mirror only half believing that.  WIPE TO...

KIIRON - WE'RE LOOKING THROUGH A PAIR OF BINOCULARS AT A WAREHOUSE ON THE EDGE OF A BUSTLING METROPOLIS AT DUSK. Obi-Wan and two Kiironian officers are stationed not too far away from the front of the building watching people going in and out. Speaking into a small communicator he tells Anakin, with his small team of two Kiironians positioned at the rear, that the conspirators and the Jedi undercover agents should be arriving shortly. Anakin acknowledges and sits back relaxing a bit. He and the officer seated next to him strike up small talk about where Skywalker comes from. Anakin talks about his planet and how the sun would set in the evening beautifully just like this one. His gaze goes to the skyline of the nearby city with the big sun setting in a haze of watercolor red and orange. The scene recalls the city-scape on his home planet Yairn that fateful day and we watch Anakin's face go blank and his voice trail off as he stares at the metropolis. The officer nudges him and asks if he's okay just as Obi-Wan calls in that the targets have arrived and Skywalker snaps out of his flashback, grins self consciously, and checks his earpiece. He can hear the conversation from the warehouse as the conspirators greet each other. Peering through the warehouse window with his binoculars Anakin sees the UC Jedi agents disguised as Kiironians sympathetic to the Separatist cause and standing across from them are three Aetnagians who are separatist sympathizers as well. Anakin calls over to Obi-Wan that he remembers the briefing state there were four Aetnagians, Kenobi confirms and tells him to hold his position. Over Anakin's earpiece we hear a sympathizer say that the fourth brother is bringing about destiny and the Republic will come tumbling down along with the Jedi dogs and then there's a flurry of laser fire.

Obi-Wan yells the Jedi's cover is blown and calls for back up to move in!  Anakin and the Kiironioans scramble from their position just as a Aetnagian bursts out of a window at the back exit. Aetnagians have four arms and this one has blasters in two of them. Shooting his way out of the back, Anakin and the officers engage in a direct exchange with the suspect. The first officer is hit and killed and the suspect runs down an alley. Anakin goes to the officer sees he's dead and goes after the suspect. Further down the alley the second officer shoots at the Separatist and in that exchange he is wounded. Anakin catches up and provides cover fire while dragging the officer to safety. The Padawan checks his wound and the officer yells that he's okay and for Skywalker to  go after the Separatist! The Aetnagian jumps out from behind cover shooting as Anakin returns fire. An incredible shot hits Skywalker's blaster and blows the weapon from his hand, instinctively Anakin quickly draws his light saber and deflects the other laser fire including ricocheting one shot back at the Aetnagian and knocking the blaster out of his hand. The suspect raises the other blaster but it malfunctions. Throwing the weapon away, he runs down the alley closely followed by the Jedi.

Aetnagian's are naturally very fleet of foot and the young padawan is quickly outpaced (there is no Jedi Super Speed). The separatist ducks down a side alley and a few seconds later Anakin arrives but there's no sign of the suspect. Obi-Wan calls out for Anakin's location and he replies where he is then hears something fall on the ground nearby. Igniting his light-saber again, he cuts through a metal fence and kicks in the hole to see the suspect crawling into the window of a building. The chase is on! The Aetnagian runs into a stairwell and bounds up the stairs like a Gazelle only touching the bottom, middle and top step on each floor. Skywalker has to use his Force Leaping ability to keep up.  The suspect breaks through the door on the roof and runs to the ledge and jumps to the next roof top. On the ground Kenobi arrives on a speeder bike just in time to see the suspect and Skywalker leaping from rooftop to rooftop. Obi-Wan starts to ride in their direction but hears calls for assistance from the authorities about the other separatist suspects. Sighing in frustration, he turns the hover bike in the opposite direction. The buildings are getting further apart and Anakin has to use his Force Levitation ability to stay on the Aetnagian's tail.

Jumping to the last rooftop the suspect comes to a sliding halt as the next building is too far to leap even for him. Turning quickly to run for the exit door, Anakin blocks his path with his light saber drawn. Totally out of breath, the young apprentice tells the Separatist to submit to arrest. The Aetnagian raises his hands, all four of them, when we suddenly hear a concussive explosion in the distance and black smoke billows from the metropolis. Smiling triumphantly, the Separatist spits at Skywalker, the wad landing on his shoes. At that exact moment Anakin realizes they're alone on the roof. Obi-Wan is calling on the communicator for his Padawan to reply with his location and Anakin shuts it off. The Jedi apprentice raises his hand in the air and the suspect starts to levitate off the ground. "I know you're in contact with a Sith, tell me who it is?" The Aetnagian reaches for his throat with his second pair of hands as he feels his air cutting off. Gasping and struggling for a few seconds he croaks out "There is no Sith!" The Padawan's eyes narrow in concentration and the suspect floats over the building ledge. "Aetnagians have three hearts. I will burst all of them one by one for every lie you tell me." Anakin says calmly, "who is your contact to the Sith."

courtesy of Dupree Ch'il HaajinĂ­
The separatist's eyes bulge out as he feels a heart muscle tighten. He looks at his interrogator and sees someone with no compunction about killing him in the most painful way possible. Blue blood starts to flow from his nose and mouth and just as unconsciousness creeps in, the tightness in his chest relents. "Give me the name of your contact to the Sith." the measured voice demands. Disorientation hits the suspect as his body is rotated horizontally in space. He can see the ground far below and the height of the pending fall brings panic. "The longer you hold out, the more painful this will get. Now, the name?" The second heart muscle tightens along with the first and a shock of excruciating pain ripples through the Aetnagian's body. Unable to withstand the onslaught of agony he blurts out "Pash-Ghari! Her name is Pash-Ghari! Please, I beg you! STOP!"

At that moment Obi-Wan rises up behind them on his speeder bike, lands it and jumps onto the roof. Anakin still has the terror suspect in the air, blood dripping from his face when the master demands his apprentice to release him. Skywalker lowers the body to a foot above the floor of the roof then drops him like a stone. The Aetnagian curls into a fetal position and desperately gasps for air. "What the hell are you doing?!" Kenobi yells, looking at his apprentice in shock. "I got the name of their contact to the Sith, Master!" Anakin says with satisfaction. Grabbing his Padawan by the shoulders, Kenobi exclaims "Anakin, we do NOT do things like this!" Anakin, taken aback, repeats that he got pertinent information and Obi-Wan cuts him off and demands he hand over his light-saber. The order causes the Padawan to blink in stunned silence. Without another word he gives his weapon to his master. "We'll talk about this later." Kenobi says turning his attention to the trembling heap on the ground. Checking the pulse on the side of the suspects body, the Jedi pulls the suspect out of his curled position and lays him out straight. Obi-Wan says he's going into shock and calls on his communicator for medical assistance. Anakin watches his mentor administer first aid to the suspect as emergency vehicles approach. WIPE TO...

PLANET ZIAA -  The reception hall is full blown pomp and circumstance and the room is packed with Ziaa and Naboo's mucky-mucks who stand and applaud as the bride to be is walked out to meet her fiancee. Padme has something akin to a beekeepers veil over her face but it obscures her view and she has to be guided to her mark. The orchestra blasts a fanfare and the ceremony begins.  The Prince marches out to meet his intended and as soon as he approaches, her attendants pull back the veil over Padme's face and she looks into the open space of the room. For a second she's perplexed because the Prince isn't there. Then she looks down. A full head shorter than her, Prince Blaan Dorhaan looks up and smiles broadly at his bride to be. He steps toward her, lips puckered. Quickly gathering herself, Padme stoops a bit to meet the young man's kiss. Video cameras hover and buzz around the two as the engagement becomes official. Prince Blaan and his parents are beaming with joy while Padme and the Queen smile awkwardly as one big family for the cheering crowd and cameras. WIPE TO...


PLANET KIIRON - OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN ARE IN THEIR PRIVATE QUARTERS PREPARING TO LEAVE THE PLANET. Silently brooding, Skywalker is packing his things when Kenobi walks into the room. Obi-Wan talks to Anakin about the incident on the roof top and lets his Padawan know that torture is not a method the Jedi Order uses or endorses. He's reminds the young man about the honor and code of the Jedi Knights and how its precepts govern the behavior of the people who are chosen to uphold peace and order in the galaxy. Obi-Wan says that he understands the circumstances of how Anakin's parents were killed and his desire to seek revenge on the person responsible. The Padawan says nothing. Kenobi mentions how he too must fight the desire to avenge the murder of Master Qui-Gon so he knows how Anakin must feel but nevertheless seeking revenge is the path to the Dark Side and they must be vigilant in not letting those desires consume them. Obi-Wan tells Anakin that his rapid progress as a Padawan is astounding and he wants to recommend him for the Trials of Knighthood but something like this can be a huge setback. The master says  he won't mention this to the council but he'll hold onto to his light-saber until Anakin understands just how important his responsibilities are. The lecture over, Kenobi tells him to finish packing as they are leaving immediately and exits the room. Anakin remains silent. WIPE TO...

GRIEVOUS' FLAGSHIP - COUNT DOOKU ON HOLOGRAM TO GENERAL GRIEVOUS. Dooku, Grievous and Darth Maul discuss the progress of the droid army construction on Geonosis in the Outer Rim. Maul says he'll go there to inspect the production and give a progress report to Palpatine. WIPE TOO...

CORUSCANT - OBI-WAN ON HOLOGRAM TO THE JEDI COUNCIL. He's explaining how the assignment went and the name they got from the suspect. Mace Windu tells Obi-Wan they will assign a team to follow it up with that information in the meantime the council just recently got alert from the Cassandran Worlds that someone was inquiring about Master Sifo-Dyas. Obi-Wan recalls that master Dyas was killed years ago during a mission and Mace Windu says that Kenobi and Skywalker are assigned to check out the alert. Obi-Wan signs off and the Jedi masters discuss how theres total unrest in the galaxy and the Separatists are getting bolder in making moves on the Republic. They talk about other teams of Jedi sent to investigate Separatist activity in the Outer Rim systems. Jedi council member Ki-Adi-Mundi says that master Dyas' warnings of the schism was correct after all and that his vision of a civil war seems to be coming true. Windu states that there has to be other options to impending war and Yoda wearily states "The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is." WIPE TO...

OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN ARRIVING AT CORUSCANT.  As their ship lands they discuss the assignment to check out the alert about Dyas. Obi-Wan says he'll handle the task alone and Anakin objects and brings up the fact that Master Sifo was the person who helped him at the beginning of his training at the academy when he was struggling to keep up with his youngling classmates. Obi-Wan says in a reasoning tone that he understands how much the Master meant to him but he wants his Padawan to go back to his quarters and spend time in meditation to center himself in the Force and reflect on his choices. While walking though the spaceport they see a large monitor broadcasting news around the Republic. Anakin glances at the screen, does a double take, and sees Princess Padme Amidala in full formal Naboo make up and dress waiting with a reception committee. Approaching her, we see a man walk up to her and they kiss. He's blonde, balding and shorter than she is. The reporter says this is her fiancee, Prince Blaan Dorhaan from an arranged engagement with planet Ziaa's monarchy. Padme's engaged. Heart broken and shocked Anakin stares at the screen. The voice over report states that diplomats from both planets and the royal couple will travel to the capital city Curoscant to officially declare the alliance of Naboo and Ziaa to the Galactic congress and attend a reception. Kenobi pats Skywalker on the shoulder in consolation and says it's their custom. Parting ways at the port, Obi-Wan says he'll follow up on the alert and implores Anakin to go into meditation and center himself in the Force especially after recent events and this news. Anakin agrees. WIPE TO...



GEONOSIS - A SMALL SPACESHIP FLIES ACROSS THE ROCKY PLANET. We watch it speed toward a structure carved from the rock this is the castle of the ruling Archduke, Poggle the Lesser. As the vehicle gets closer, we track it through the POV of binoculars. In the screen display we see photography lens cross hairs, time and distance and a red dot recording indicator. Landing in front of the castle we see a dwarf individual disembark from the ship. from there she is escorted to the meeting chamber where the Archduke, Newt Gunray head of the Trade Federation, two foundry supervisors and Darth Maul are having a meeting. Poggle looks at her and Darth Maul says that she is Pash-Ghari, an associate of his. The Archduke waves her to a chair and she takes a seat in the rear of the chamber. She remains silent while the others discuss the droid construction schedule. Poggle reassures Maul that the droid army construction is on schedule and offers to take Maul on tour through an assembly line to witness the efficiency of Geonosian workmanship. As they're taking the tour through the enormous foundry, a supervisor is explaining how efficient the droid construction process is from start to finish. The dwarf is last in line and quiet. From a high angle, through the POV of binoculars, we see the group tour the line. While in the smelting section, Ghari steps to Darth Maul and says that she has coordinated several bombing missions to be conducted simultaneously in different sectors in the Middle Rim. We see a close up of the two talking from the POV of binoculars. In the middle of her report, Maul cuts his eyes to the side and tells her she's been followed. Pash says she was careful to make sure no one was tailing her and the Sith Lord says he'll take care of it.


High in the roof scaffolding, two Jedi Knights and one Padawan are positioned recording the activities of the droid production. One Jedi tells the other that there's too much interference from all the machinery, she can't get a signal to contact the council. She then hands the Padawan a flash drive from her binoculars and tells him to go back to the ship and relay the information from there and wait for them to return. The apprentice silently moves out while the two Jedi continue tracking the touring party from afar. The two Jedi move through the scaffolding structure to another position when they're attacked by flying Geonosian soldiers. Just as they about to escape Darth Maul appears and ignites his double light saber. Hiding in the shadows from afar their Padawan witnesses the capture of his Jedi masters.

Getting back to the ship, the Padawan contacts the Council and relays the information and news of the capture to three members of the Jedi Council. They tell him to sit tight and wait for a team to arrive for the rescue mission. WIPE TO...

 photography by estudibasic / home design by in-tenta /jedi-rain animation by me
OBI-WAN ARRIVING AT SIFO-DYAS' DWELLING IN THE CASSANDRAN SECTOR. The Jedi master makes his way in the rain through a forest area and comes to the home of Dyas. Pressing a key card on the door, it unlocks and Kenobi walks in shaking the rain off his hooded cloak, Although the house looks small from the outside, it goes down a level and has a surprisingly spacious interior. After checking the living room and bedroom and certain the place is secure, Obi-Wan turns the corner to the kitchen area and is jump startled upon seeing a figure sitting at the table with a bowl of food and a drink. The thin pale alien says he's a courier with a message for Master Sifo-Dyas. Obi-Wan replies that Master Dyas is dead but he can give him the message. The courier states that upon confirmation that Dyas is indeed dead he will relay the message but only to a Jedi Knight. Kenobi tells the courier of the last mission Dyas was assigned, to negotiate a peace treaty between several tribes on Felucia. He says that the Master's shuttle malfunctioned and crashed on the planet. The Felucians disposed of his body in accordance to their customs. Then Obi-Wan produces his own light saber saying that he is a Jedi Knight. The courier is not impressed with the weapon since anyone can fashion a light saber. Suddenly the bowl of food and drink start to levitate off the table. The courier raises an eyebrow in slight amusement. Then he starts to rise off the floor along with the table. Obi-Wan's hand is raised slightly above his waist. The courier says he believes him and all are gently put back in place. The Jedi asks what the message is and the courier states that the order for the clone army is near completion and he is invited to planet Kamino to inspect the production. Obi-Wan starts to ask questions about the order but the courier cuts him off and says that any questions he may have can only be answered on Kamino. With that he gets up and walks out of the abode. "Guess I'm going to Kamino..." Kenobi mutters to himself. WIPE TO...


CORUSCANT - PADME AND BLAAN ATTENDING THE RECEPTION IN THEIR HONOR. Everyone is having a joyful time celebrating the royal couple (think Prince George and Kate Middleton type of gala) and Padme, now in kabuki style make up, is putting on a good show telling everyone how happy she is and smiling blandly at Prince Blaan. She excuses herself to the lady's room with Korin following. There she expresses her true feelings to her confidant about Anakin and has no affections at all for her fiance and she feels real nervous about going through with the arrangement. Her handmaiden tries to reassure her things will work out. The Queen walks in and tells Korin to leave. She and Padme talk and the princess reveals her feelings about both men in her life. The Queen reminds her that she has a duty and the marriage will build an alliance between the two planets which is advantageous for Naboo so in so many words, Padme needs to woman up and do what is necessary for Naboo. WIPE TO...

Courtesy of Nicholas Garza



ANAKIN IN HIS APARTMENT MEDITATING.  Sitting in the lotus position, and not wearing his top tunic the young apprentice is in deep concentration and starts to levitate a few inches off the ground. We MOVE IN on his face and see scenes of action flash and flicker these are Anakin's visions and premonitions. As he's gotten stronger in the Force the visions have become more vivid and detailed. The images are of Padme smiling then screaming/Obi-Wan screaming "ANAKIN NO!"/Prince Blaan falling away into an abyss/a demon moving to attack him and a blinding light. He wakes abruptly and falls to the floor. Anakin lays on the floor in deep thought and drenched in sweat when he hears an alert from his communicator. Telekinetically drawing the device to his hand he activates it and its a message from Obi-Wan saying he's going to the Wild Space region to follow up a lead. The Jedi master says Anakin should go the Temple and prepare himself for the upcoming Trial of Knighthood. Taking a deep sigh, Anakin gets up and grabs his tunic and heads out the door. WIPE TOO..


OBI-WAN ARRIVING AT KAMINO.  Obi-Wan is met by a Kaminoan representative and after introductions and bringing her up to speed on Sifo-Dyas, the rep takes Kenobi on a tour of the production facility. During which she explains how the clones are developed and who the genetic template is. The template for the clones is not Jango Fett but a soldier who was a close friend of Master Dyas. He believed the Jedi's premonition and volunteered to help him (although this info is not explained to Obi-Wan). Kenobi is astonished at the sheer size and number of the production. WIPE TOO....

CORUSCANT - ANAKIN WALKING IN A BUSTLING MALL AREA.   He's looking at the sellers wares and deep in thought when he's bumped by a stranger. Its Padme in a hooded outfit that obscures her face. Surprised to see her, he looks around and sees Korin and another Padawan Learner that's been assigned to her. After some small talk Anakin asks if  he can talk to Padme in private and she tells  Korin to take the guard take in the sights. The conscientious Padawan mildly objects to leaving the Princess without a guard and she reminds him that not only is Skywalker a Jedi but was her first guard from the Order. Korin leads the guard away and Anakin and Padme walk and talk.

Going to a secluded spot, they talk about her engagement and why she didn't tell him earlier. The Princess says she didn't know how to and wanted to see him in person to tell it in any case. Anakin says between her getting married and his missions abroad their relationship was doomed from the start but that doesn't change his feelings for her. Padme tells him even though they've known each other for a short time, she feels more connected to him than anyone she's ever known. But, she says, they're positions have obligations, her's to Naboo and his to the Jedi Order. At that point, Anakin looks away and says that being a Jedi isn't all its cracked up to be. She asks him what he meant by that and Anakin brings the subject back to her. He divulges that he's dreamed of her since he was a young boy. That, at first, he didn't know it was her but it became clear to him that she was special the first time they met. This is where they share their first kiss. Caught up in the moment the young Jedi takes the Princess by the hand and leads her away. WIPE TO...

OBI-WAN COMING BACK TO CORUSCANT IN HIS TRANSPORT SHIP.  After reciting the specs of the clones and they're development, the rep gives Obi-Wan a flash drive device, saying Master Sifo left instructions that in case of his demise they are to deliver it to a Jedi Knight. Kenobi, thoroughly confused about the whole thing takes it, thanks her and leaves. Back at his ship, he  reviews the content of the flash drive which is a message from Sifo-Dyas. The old Jedi Master talks about why he commissioned the clones and his premonitions about the coming Civil War in the Republic. Seconds after its over Mace Windu comes through in a hologram and informs Obi-Wan that a small team of Jedi uncovered the construction of a droid army on planet Geonosis in the Outer Rim but were captured in the process,  Windu is mustering a strike team to head up a rescue mission and need Obi Wan and Anakin immediately. Obi-Wan tells about his discovery and transfers the info to Windu then goes into hyperspace. CUT TO....

courtesy of Nicholas Garza

CORUSCANT - ANAKIN'S APARTMENT.  Anakin and Padme are in his small apartment, in the background we can see the bed with ruffled sheets. He's coming out of the bathroom putting his shirt on and she's adjusting her clothes in the living room area. The young man smiles and walks up to the young lady, kisses her and says they should run away together. Padme smiles at the notion and says its a great idea and she's do it if she didn't think it would trigger a galactic manhunt. Anakin says he's serious, they should run away and get married. Padme tells him that's impossible, they have responsibilities. Anakin looks her in the eyes and demands she tell him that she loves Dorhaan. Padme says its not about love, it's about her people, her duty as heir to the throne must be to think of her people first. Anakin says he loves her and he knows she loves him, he can feel it- at that point Padme cuts him off and says that as much as she has come to love him her duty has to be to Naboo. With tears welling up in her eyes, she  tells him she can't see him ever again,  Anakin steps back in anger. His communicator lights up. Padme says she sorry and steps toward the door, Anakin grabs her arm. "Padme...I love you!" the young man pleads. Tears streaming down her cheeks, the Princess slowly removes her arm out of his grip, turns and walks out the door. Anakin stares at the closed door trying to process everything that's happened then turns to his buzzing communicator. Obi-Wan comes in and says they have orders to muster a team for an emergency operation. He tells Skywalker he'll meet him at the Temple and all will be explained there. Anakin quickly gathers himself, acknowledges, and prepares to go.

Having composed herself, Padme goes back to the mall and sees Korin and the Padawan guard sitting on a bench people watching. She taps him on the shoulder and motions for him to come along. He jumps up and excitedly says "Your Highness, we were getting worried you were gone for awhil-" The Princess raises a hand and he immediately shuts up. Korin, picking up on her emotional vibe, gives her a concerned look and moves to her side. The three walk back to her royal quarters in silence. WIPE TO...

JEDI HIGH COUNCIL MEMBERS IN HOLOGRAM CONFERENCE WITH CHANCELLOR PALPATINE. They're discussing the report of the foundries on Geonosis and what they're producing. Yoda says that its clear the Confederacy of Independent Systems are building an army at a rate that's beyond normal production for those guilds who've sided with the Separatists. Palpatine says this development means any successful negotiations with the Separatists to avoid war is all but lost and the Senate will have no choice to vote in favor of raising their own military forces but at this point they're way behind even on that front. Mace Windu brings up the report about the clones on Kamino. Palpatine is confused and Windu tells him that the clones were commissioned by a Jedi Knight acting on his own accord but it seems they can used a stopgap measure until a formal military can be raised. The Chancellor says he'll take the report to the senate for a vote in the meantime he authorizes the Jedi Council to surreptitiously destroy the foundries to halt their production and buy time for the negotiations. He says if they cannot then the senate will have no other choice but to go to war. The Council agrees. WIPE TO...

JEDI TEMPLE - OBI-WAN, ANAKIN AND SMALL GROUP OF JEDI KNIGHTS GATHERED AROUND A HOLOGRAM DISPLAY GEONOSIS TOPOGRAPHY. The team leader opens with a situation report: "The information obtained by Kenobi and Skywalker resulted in tracking a suspected arms dealer named Pash-Ghari. The result of that revealed her involvement in several past bombing incidents and connection to known separatist groups who are planning attacks in Republican territory in the Outer Rim. She is also in league with a Sith. We believe its the same person responsible for the murder of Master Qui-Gon Jinn" Upon hearing the name, Pash-Ghari, in the report Anakin gives a slightly triumphant glance at Obi-Wan. Kenobi feels the look but doesn't acknowledge it. The team leader continues, " The investigative team followed her to Geonosis where they discovered foundries producing battle droids in high quantities. Subsequently our team was captured and is being held by the Geonosians. The Council informed the Chancellor of these developments and has authorized a rescue as well as search and destroy strike.  The Council has expressed that we are to capture the Sith operative if possible." The team leader says this is a huge coordinated operation with the team Kenobi and Skywalker are in rescuing the captives while other teams strike at the foundries. WIPE TO...

GEONOSIS - THE TWO CAPTIVE JEDI IN THE COLISEUM AWAITING EXECUTION. 
This plays pretty much like the film only Darth Maul is here. The two captive Jedi are marched out and chained to columns. We follow Obi-Wan and Anakin as they surreptitiously infiltrate the coliseum. Much like the film; the two Jedi do their best to narrowly avoid being killed by the creatures unleashed on them much to the delight of the crowds. We see other Jedi move into position around the arena. And at just as both captive Jedi are cornered by the beasts, Jedi Master Saesee Tiin makes his move to the VIP box with Poggle and Gunray in it and orders them to stop proceedings. At that moment all 200+ Jedi Knights reveal themselves. The newly constructed battle droid march into the arena and just like the film all hell breaks loose.

The fighting is intense and so much dust and dirt is stirred up that all we see are flashes of light sabers and laser fire all over the arena. But the droids are too much and soon overwhelm their opponents. Many of the lesser experienced Jedi Knights and Padawans are cut down in the fire fight and soon its apparent the dwindling strike team is about to be decimated.


Just as the battle droids are about to move in, Mace Windu arrives with a large contingent of clone troopers and the battle is back on! Reinvigorated by the reinforcements the Jedi Knights push back hard on the battle droid front line. Laser fire from the battle forces the occupants of the VIP box to scramble and Darth Maul leaps from the  balcony to the arena floor. Fending off  a flurry of laser fire and light saber strikes the Sith Lord carves a path through the skirmish. Anakin spots the Sith fighting two Jedi Knights and runs over to help.

Obi-Wan sees this and starts to run at them when he's sidetracked by a swarm of battle droids. It's clear from the outset that Maul is controlling the fight and he moves the clash inside the arena's chambers. In closer quarters, Maul kills one immediately, Anakin and the other Jedi try to coordinate an attack but the double bladed light saber is a blur they can barely keep up with. Now up close and personal with the Sith Lord, Anakin sees the living breathing version of the specter that's been haunting him throughout his young life.

Obi-Wan finally breaks away from the main battle in the arena to help Anakin inside the chambers. Anakin and the other Jedi circle Darth Maul. Another quick exchange and the second Jedi goes down. Skywalker is trying hard not to show how scared he is now that he is alone with the demon from his visions.

courtesy of Nicholas Garza


Toe to toe with the young apprentice, Darth Maul is impressed that Skywalker is holding his own and compliments his skill. Anakin, slightly shaking and panting, tries to calm himself. Maul moves in with a series of strikes and forces the young man against a wall. Anakin takes a deep breath and strikes back to give himself more space to operate. The demon taunts him saying that he can smell the fear on the Padawan, that the Jedi ways are what is holding him back. Obi-Wan is rushing through the interior of the arena. Getting bored with the challenge, Maul presses his attack on the Padawan and it's all Anakin can do just to stay alive. As Obi-Wan reaches the room, Darth Maul cuts off both of Anakin's arms at the elbows then delivers a round house kick to his chest sending Skywalker flying a few feet. Hitting his head on the ground, the apprentice is knocked out. Obi-Wan jumps in before the death blow can be delivered and he and Darth Maul savagely fight. The skirmish moves into one of the private balconies overlooking the arena. Mace Windu shows up and checks Anakin. The young man's severed arm wounds are cauterized and he's unconscious but still alive, Mace communicates to the other Jedi who followed him to take care of Anakin then moves on to the balcony. Attacking simultaneously, Kenobi and Windu force Maul back to the ledge of the balcony. Facing far more experienced Jedi, the Sith Lord jumps off the balcony ledge and lands on Newt Gunray's speeder vehicle and the two escape. Obi-Wan and Mace watch the bike, dodging laser fire, quickly disappear in the distance then look out to the arena and see the field littered with dead Jedi and droid parts. WIPE TOO...

MUSTAFAR - PALPATINE IS ON HOLOGRAM TO DOOKU - Palpatine says that discovery of the droid army has pushed the senate into voting the Chancellor be given emergency powers to deal with the threat and as an added bonus apparently a clone army was created without the Jedi council's knowledge. The Republic has a ready made military force. Dooku says that the separatists guilds are prepared to move against the Republic at any time. At that moment Darth Maul and the Trade federation Viceroy show up. Gunray tells Dooku the droid army production is right on schedule and can be deployed at any time but the Republic has struck first on Geonosis. The Count praises Gunray for his efficiency in organizing the guilds and to prepare to launch their forces shortly. Then the Count says the Viceroy is dismissed from the room. In private now, Dooku brings Palpatine back on hologram and Darth Maul talks about the battle with the Jedi. Dooku says with this clone army now in play the war can begin and the battle on Geonosis is the beginning of a new era. Palpatine chimes in with the Galactic Senate in disarray and the Jedi Order off balance, the dawn of the Sith Order is at hand and they will rise once again to rule the galaxy. WIPE TO...

THE FINAL MONTAGE -  we see (SAD MUSIC PLAYS OVER):

* The Clone army assembling. Palpatine, with a sly smile, oversees the Republic forces as they move out.

* Yoda, Mace Windu and the other Jedi Masters looking grim at the mass funeral for the fallen Jedi.

* A fully made up Princess Padme Amidala and Prince Blaan Dorhaan getting married on planet Ziaa in a royal gala. As they join hands, Blaan looks up at her and smiles broadly and Padme, looking down at the Prince, barely has a grin.

Courtesy of Nicholas Garza
* CLOSE UP of Anakin Skywalker, he has a depressed/angry look and we pull back to see him sitting up in his hospital bed staring ahead. Pulling back further we see medical droids making adjustments to his cybernetic arms. SAD MUSIC SWELLS LOUDER, CUT TO BLACK, END THEME, CREDITS ROLL.
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I de-emphasized the battle scenes mainly because... I didn't care about them. Lucas took great pains to show elaborate war sequences and quite frankly that's NOT where the story is. Leia and Luke mention the Clone Wars in A New Hope so all that has to be done in the prequels is to show how they came about. The story is still about Anakin's rise and fall so the focus should stay there while war rages in the background. Also watching the war scenes was anticlimactic mainly because we know how it all ends. The clone troopers become storm troopers and the Republic becomes the Empire. You could make the case that we all know that Anakin becomes Vader but if you're making a saga about the Skywalker family and their trials and tribulations over a number of generations, then that's a much more compelling story than trying to illustrate a war fought long ago.

Anakin and Padme do not get married in my version but rather they hook up in a moment of passion. I chose to go that route because it seemed more true to how their lives are going at this point. They both have responsibilities and positions that take them away from each other frequently also let's not forget that Skywalker, Kenobi, Yoda and the rest of the Jedi Knights are essentially monks. Vader did Force choke a dude who mocked his "religion" and there is a spiritual feel to the Force, that is until George Mr. Midi-chlorian Lucas decided to make it nothing more than bacteria in the blood. So there's a lot of pent up passion in these guys. Padme and Anakin share a moment but ultimately can't do more to realize their desire to be with each other. And that contributes to his slide.

Speaking of relationships, this brings me to the Belated Media guys whose own version of the prequels is what inspired me to try my hand at it. In their version they shift focus to Obi-Wan and again leave Anakin pretty much in the background. According to these guys, Anakin and Padme don't even start to be attracted to each other until the end of Clones. While they do have a couple of compelling clashes, particularly between Kenobi and Maul, the rest of the story is pretty much talky and too involved with the Republic/Separatist dispute.


Both Episodes 1 and 2 videos were done in successive years (2012 and 2013) even though they have posted quite a number of videos since this last one so far, they haven't completed the trilogy and we're only a few couple months away from 2014 going out. Maybe they're going to do it sometime is 2015 closer to the Episode 7 premiere, but I kind of doubt it.

As I said before, I think they've painted themselves in a corner and haven't figured out how they're going to get Anakin and Padme together, Padme pregnant, the children born, the fallout between Obi-Wan and Anakin, Anakin turning to the dark side, Anakin and Palpatine getting together, Padme getting killed, Anakin getting majorly injured enough to need the suit, And do all of that in a two hour movie run time without jamming things together. I was having the damnedest time trying to make that work myself, that's why my prequels are four movies.

Speaking of which, up next will be the third film - Star Wars: Rise of the Dark Lord

feel free to post comments or critiques.