Monday, April 4, 2011

Mio Water Enhancer - Translation - DRANK FOR WHITE FOLKS

Kraft Foods has come out with a new concentrated beverage that's designed to change and enhance plain old water. The commercials look slick and the product looks good. But I had this nagging familiar feeling about it. You just squirt the concentrated mixture into a glass of water and voilà instant fancy drink. But is it really fancy?
Mio, italian for mine, looks all high tech and space agey with the egg shape container and the commercials make it look almost like the thing is some kind of app you download into your water. But lets be for real...Mio is just high tech Kool Aid in an eye dropper.

3.49 per container

Packed with artificial colors, artificial sweeteners and preservatives, Mio's ingredients seems eerily close to the same ingredients most urban people (read Black folks)  have been acquainted with for decades. Most of you know what I'm talking about. Dave Chappelle famously did a stand up routine about it.

That's right, I'm talking about the least nutritious yet most flavorful of all beverages, the fruit DRINK.
1.99 per gallon..sometimes less
Or as some brethren in the hood would pronounce it, "drank". As you can see from the picture you can usually get it by the gallon and its relatively cheap. Mio sells for 3.49 per eye dropper. You can get 3 gallons of fruit drink for 3 bucks at a dollar store. The same nutritional value and it cost much less. Which brings us back to who Mio is being marketed to... 

a scarf...really?
An upscale, upwardly mobile, young, urbane and kind of gay looking white demographic which is apparently Mio's target consumer. This is the same demographic that usually frequent Tapas bars and keep buying the next gen Apple computer products even though they haven't fully used the previous generation. And because of their propensity to buy and buy into trendy but ultimately useless items, Mio dovetails perfectly into their purchasing habits.

Personally, I think if Kraft Foods really wants this item to take off they should do an underground campaign where the enhancer is combined with alcoholic beverages and over the counter medicines. Cough syrup+vodka+the water enhancer flavor of your it O-Mio-my. College kids would buy into that crap in a heartbeat. But I'm just spit-balling on that one.  I just find it interesting to watch a new product come out and see how its tailored for a specific audience
almost to the exclusion of everyone else.

translation: sugar and purple just add to water
Now I'm pretty sure Kraft Foods would
say "oh no, that's not the case at all, our product is for everyone." But I'll wager you won't find it in many minority neighborhoods and the one commercial that's been running certainly doesn't show any Latinos, Asians or Eskimos (what an under served demographic that is). But that's fine, the last thing people of color need or want is another overpriced nutritionally bankrupt food item.
before Mio...there was this little toe killer*

That's okay, we'll stick to our drank and let's not forget the Little Hug, even more responsible for Juvenile Diabetes in the hood than Kool Aid because you had to slam about two dozen of them to satisfy your thirst, thank you very much. But for the people that Mio is aimed you guys really want to pay so much for so little? In this economy?

I guess so... but dude, seriously ...a scarf?

*toe killer - diabetes

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